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One80 Podcast Transcript
Episode 73: Intern Show
Dawson Trimble: The Covid Awakening
This transcript may have errors that veer from the original audio, found here: https://one80podcast.com/listen/
Louise Lamb: Welcome to our One80 Intern Show. This is Louise Lamb, your producer. From recording to publishing, interns have done every part of today’s show.
Dawson Trimble was a Christian teenager trying to conform to the patterns of the world. When the COVID pandemic put the rest of the world to sleep, he was awoken in Christ to the reality of the gospel. Gripped by a fresh understanding of the Word and God’s love for him, Dawson followed the Lord’s call to Moody Bible Institute where he committed his life to ministry.
Welcome to Dawson’s One80.
Syd Berenyi: Hello! Welcome to One80 Podcast. I am Syd Bearney. I am a OneWay intern and a graduate of Columbia College Chicago. I got a fine arts bachelor’s degree there and today I am here to interview Dawson.
Welcome to One80, Dawson. we’re so glad that you get to share your story with us. We always start off with a random question, and so I’m going to ask you. If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Dawson Trimble: Ooh, that’s a tough one. I’m a big fan of mashed potatoes. Oh, me too. Yeah, so I think it would just be mashed potatoes, because you can have like, the creamy mashed potatoes, or you could have the chunky mashed potatoes.
Variety, I see. You could put a lot of things in the mashed potatoes.
Syd Berenyi: I’m behind this answer. Alright, well, let’s get into your story. What was your life like growing up?
Dawson Trimble: So, I grew up in a Christian household, and, um, my dad, he was a Executive pastor and I was born at a church nearby. Um, yeah, all my family’s Christian.
I was really blessed with just being born into such a good Christian traditional family.
Syd Berenyi: Great. Um, was there a faith component for you growing up?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah. So around eight years old, I decided to give my life to the Lord. Um, and before that, I, I had always seen my siblings, um, both my older siblings.
I saw them get baptized. Um, yeah, and I just saw how, how much they’re celebrating and that they’re getting wet. And everyone was like, I was, I went to my parents. I was like, I want, I want to do that. I want to get wet. I want to go in the little kiddie pool. Um, and they’re like, no, you have to know what it means to give your life to the Lord and for the spirit to save you.
Um, and so I think every year I would just go to my parents and be like, can I please get baptized? And then finally, when I was eight, I, I think I fully developed what and grasped what that, what that meant for my life. Um, my dad also got saved when he was eight. So he’s like, if I got saved when I was eight, then you can get saved, baptized when you’re eight too.
Syd Berenyi: That makes sense. Yeah. Um, what was your view of God during this time?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, I, I’d always heard those, those kids Bible songs. Um, I, the one that’s coming to mind right now is, Like big, big house. Do you know that one? I do. Yeah.
Syd Berenyi: Yeah.
Dawson Trimble: Yeah. So I, I generally saw him as a father because of songs like that. And, um, I’d seen him as a savior and just a loving figure that I didn’t really know too intimately yet, but I knew he loved me because I just heard it from my family and worship songs and Sunday service, um.
Syd Berenyi: Great. Um, can you tell me a little bit more about the baptism experience for you and getting saved?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, for sure. Um, that year I turned eight and I went to my mom. I kind of just fully explained my heart and what I truly believed about how Jesus saves and what He did on the cross and how the Spirit, um, was pulling me in.
Um, yeah, and after that, my mom was like, oh yeah, you’re, You’re good. I you can get baptized and after that I had started to tell my family members and that was a fun experience just because I like to see them get like really happy and It’s kind of funny because looking back. It’s such a huge decision But at the time I was like, yeah, I I want to be in heaven I want to I I don’t want to go go to hell or I don’t want to be a sinner In the way that I was So I was like, yeah, it’s not a big deal.
Yeah, everyone should do this But looking back, it’s just it’s such a monumental choice to make Actual baptism My dad had recently started a church, planted his own church. He felt a call from the Lord, too so we’re meeting in high school at that point just setting up every week and That week was baptism Sunday, and we had just rented out one of those big Massive tubs.
Yep, and the water is really cold and I got baptized by my dad. That was really sweet.
Syd Berenyi: That’s awesome Thank you.
Dawson Trimble: So When I got baptized Yeah, I was eight and that was kind of the starting point of my faith journey. I truly believed I was saved at that point Yeah, and it just continued to develop from there. I think what was really helpful was my dad Talked to me afterwards, and he basically laid out a road map of this is something that you have committed to and you’re starting your faith journey now and This is gonna be something that’s gonna be from now until the end of your life And it’s gonna take dips and dives, but it’s gonna be for the Lord.
Syd Berenyi: Yeah.
Dawson Trimble: Yeah
Syd Berenyi: That’s great. Can you take us to junior high now?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so I saved it eight and I just continued to I think growing my knowledge about the Bible through Sunday school, um, from that point on. And then just fast forwarding a little bit to junior high, um, it was actually the time when my older sister decided that she wanted to go to Moody.
Um, but at the time I was going to a Christian elementary school, which is private, which is kind of costs a lot of money. Um, So, my parents decided to send me to public school, um, yeah, and that was just a huge shift in dynamics for me, just with environments, um, and I’m from Colorado, originally, so that area is very just unchurched in general, there’s not really like, you know, there’s It’s not part of the Bible Belt at all.
And, um, just very secular. Um, so I’d go, I’d gone from that Christian community of growing up, studying the Bible, learning all these Bible stories from old, old and New Testament. And then I got dropped into public school, which is completely different. Um, yeah, so that shift started to come on and I really started to feel the pressures of just conforming to different worldviews.
And it wasn’t like, uh, a sudden shift of like, Oh, I was strong Christian early believer. And now I, I believe everything that the world is telling me. It’s more of a long term effect of people challenging my faith. And that kind of started in junior high. Gotcha.
Syd Berenyi: Um, was there a point when you had an all time low or had a problem specifically with sin?
Dawson Trimble: Um, yeah, so I’d say it was more of a slow, slow decline for me. Um, that kind of continued throughout middle and high school. Um, it just kind of, it was more of a buildup of, so many little things over the years, um, that led into something big. Um, and a lot of that stemmed with just this innate sense of I want to be accepted where I am and I want to be liked by the people around me.
And the problem was all the people around me did not share my worldview and I didn’t have anyone that did share my worldview. Yeah, so, around the middle school time, um, Yeah, I was just facing all those outward pressures Um, and I think the the starting point was just that conformity um And a lot of it just had to do with like little teasing here and there like something very specific that I can still remember is I had my my bible app in my like Essential apps down below and one of my friends saw that he’s like Oh dot like of course you’d have that in your toolbar.
Like that’s so you and I was ashamed, like I, I didn’t want to be known as the little Christian kid in a community of, a community of non believers. Um, I think another little tipping point was just, honestly, the, the teachers that were teaching me, especially in the science department. Um, and growing up, we’d always been warned about.
Don’t listen to their theories on evolution or, um, they’re really going to challenge your faith. And I was ready for it, but I think the, just the continued pressure of, this is science, so it’s true. Um, this is what you have to believe because this is what we’re teaching you. So, um, I slowly just started to shift my worldview in little ways.
Syd Berenyi: How did your family influence you during this time?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so, um, my family has always been super supportive, um, if I’ve ever brought up anything to them and they’ve always asked, answered my questions. I think the problem with me and my family during this time is, I wouldn’t say much of what I was struggling with at the time.
So if I did really struggle with a question, I’d come ask it to my parents and then they’d help. Um, but a lot of other times I would just kind of hold it in and just really think it through in my brain and try and reason my way out of these doubts instead of either coming to the Lord with these doubts or just coming to my Christian family or church friends or church family.
Syd Berenyi: Were you still going to church and, or reading the Bible?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah. So during this point, um, I didn’t really have a consistent Bible plan at all. Um, I’d read it during church. We learn about, um, just different stories in the Bible during Sunday, but throughout the week. I was always encouraged by my, my parent, my family and my friends, um, at church just to have that relationship and that time with the Lord.
But I, I’d always say, yeah, I need to do that. And then I never did. Um, and that ended up being about once a month, I’d get into scripture and read it for myself. Um, so I think that just that inconsistency also added to that decline.
Syd Berenyi: Tell me about some of those doubts that you had.
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so a lot of the doubts were either moral or scientific doubts.
Um, like I had said earlier about, um, them just teaching, Um, stuff like the Big Bang, or Evolution, and it wasn’t going along with what I was learning. On Sunday or what I had grown up learning in Christian Bible school um It was a very stark difference between the Lord made the earth in six days And he spoke into existence And I come to school And it turns out that the universe has been around for billions of years And it’s just been a very slow process and now we’re here now And I think morally This was around the time when gay marriage got legalized when I was in middle school.
Um, So that was like the talk of the town and so many people were just questioning How can a loving god not Allow these two men to get married or these two women to get married and um How can he be loving God if he created them to be like that? And then he’s gonna send them to help for being like that.
Um, so I was just really struggling with all these questions because my friends would be asking me these and I’d be like, I don’t know. Um, and I think I was struggling to answer those because I myself wasn’t bringing those struggles to the Lord.
Syd Berenyi: So is there any specific reason that you didn’t go to your parents as often with your questions and doubts?
Dawson Trimble: Um, yeah, I think inside, um, I had felt this pressure even though no one was putting this on me. I kind of felt this pressure to be a good pastor’s kid and to kind of already know everything without ever needing help. And that even like led to me not talking to my parents just because I kept telling myself at home that it was fine and these doubts were just going to go away.
And I don’t really need to talk to them about these doubts. Um, so yeah, that’s what kind of held me back.
Syd Berenyi: Can you move us forward to high school now? What was that like for you?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so, um, high school things had just kind of continued to develop and worsen. Like in, in middle school it was kind of lighter with all those doubts.
Um, but high school, um, I decided to go to, um, This one called Mountain View because it had a lot of, um, arts programs and I was very much into performing arts, uh, like choir, theater, all that. Um, so yeah, high school, um, I get in and it’s, Even a harsher, a harsher crowd compared to middle school just because art students just tend to be more liberal in comparison to the rest of the students.
Um, so many of them, many of my friends, many of the people that I hung out with were part of themselves, part of the LGBT plus community. Um, and Once they had figured out that I was a Christian and my I went to church then Then the dynamics would always change. So a lot of the times I would hide the fact that I was a Christian or I wouldn’t deny that I was a Christian if they asked but I would never bring it up or if it ever came up in a topic where they’re kind of blaspheming the spirit or talking down about Christians, I would kind of just sit and listen and in my head I would justify it by just saying oh It’s it’s fine because they haven’t asked me personally about what my thoughts on this situation are um So yeah, the conformity, um, was there, um, and this is around the time, um, when just the spiritual apathy just really started to set in because, um, I had just seen the culture at church versus the culture at my school and around my friends and I just, I thought the culture at church was just so incredibly cheesy.
Um, And I just slowly started to not want to be a part of it. Um, and part of the reason why I never went fully into those thoughts is cause I had this loving family that loved me so much and was pouring into me. Um, and I didn’t want to leave that. Yeah. So during high school, um, um, just to, Um, let me back up a little bit.
Alright. These doubts in high school, um, really started to get bigger and bigger with the crowd that was around. Um, just the scientific and morality, um, just those two different aspects. Um, yeah. And instead of answering these questions in my brain, I kind of just, um, got involved in every single activity that I was mildly talented at.
Um, so yeah, I was a part of, um, all these different choirs. I was a part of, uh, soccer. I was, I did musical theater. Um, I did student council, just everything you could think of. Um, and that was really just to um, block out all those, all those thoughts I had going in my head and, um, kind of just spend as much time I could with my friends at school and less time alone and at home and with family.
Um, yeah. And I was really putting my identity and all those, um, I was really putting my worth in how well I could sing a song or, um, how good I did in a soccer game. And instead of. putting my worth and, and value in the Lord. Um, and even during that time, that was also really hard because what happens when, um, what happens when you miss a soccer goal or you sing a wrong note, you know, um, that was just really tolling on my mental health, um, because I wasn’t good enough at these activities.
That I couldn’t be the best or I couldn’t be on varsity freshman year of high school Yeah, so just some Negative mental stuff really coming in from the enemy. I didn’t really have the proper community to help fight these, um, burning questions.
Syd Berenyi: So how did you, revealing that you were Christian, impact your relationships with your friends?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so at first it was not anything really big said out loud. It would be more of, Oh, are you Chri or I would reveal that I’m Christian and in some conversation and they’d be like, Oh, okay. And I think red flag number one is that. They didn’t know that I was a Christian previously by the way that I was acting or living or the choices I was making
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Dawson Trimble: And I think in the future whenever the the topic of church just got brought up or anything Christian They’d always kind of be wary or standoffish because they they don’t want to upset the Christian guy And that made me Want to talk about my faith even even less just because I wanted to be liked by these people I wanted to be accepted and I wanted to be the chill the chill Christian Not the Christian is gonna call them out for the way that they’re living Yeah, um and that just kept That just kept developing to the point where I was living OneWay at church and on the weekends and I’d be this, um, I would just be the pastor’s kid.
I would know all these Bible facts. I would know what to say at church. Um, I knew a lot about the Bible and I knew how to act in Christian community. Um, Um, uh, but it just wasn’t in my heart at all. Um, And I would act completely different around my friends, um, I got really bad into swearing around them because they were big swears, um, And it just, it made it harder to do, to switch between each one because it’s just, It feels like you’re taking off one mask and putting on another one and you feel like you’re not your genuine self with anybody.
And that just made it really tough.
Syd Berenyi: Yeah. Uh, so you were in high school when COVID hit and I know COVID affected a lot of people. So how did it affect you during this time?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so COVID hit near the end of my junior year and we had just finished our last performance of our show and literally the next week everything had shut down and we didn’t think it was that bad at first we were like oh we’re just gonna shut down for two more weeks than spring break and then after that we’re gonna go back to school and everything will be fine and so I wasn’t really worried at first and uh, Internally, I’m more of an introvert.
Um, so I, I enjoy being at home and during the time I really like playing video games a lot. I still like playing video games was a little more of a bigger part of my life back then. Um, yeah, so I was like, Oh, just a time where I can sit at home and play video games with my friends all day. That’s awesome.
Yeah. Um, but as those two weeks went on, it became. the whole summer and then it became the next semester. Um, and that really started to get to me mentally. Um, just because when everything actually started to shut down, it was kind of a, oh shoot moment. Um, and I realized I couldn’t hang out with my friends anymore.
Um, I had to or I couldn’t do any of these activities that I liked. I had to stay at home. I couldn’t go to prom or, um, pretty much anything. Um, so that really started to take a toll on me mentally. Um, and I was really doubting myself and what I was doing just because I didn’t have any of those things that were giving me worth in my life.
Um, Um, but the Lord really blessed me because this whole time he’s given me such a great family at home and to be stuck at home with them is the best possible thing that could have ever, ever happened to me. Um, yeah, and COVID was hard for pretty much everybody, but especially for my dad and my other family members.
Um, my brother was an RA at Moody at the time and he had to come home and that was just super hard on him. But the big thing was just me seeing their reaction to the way COVID was affecting them versus my secular friends and their families. Um, I could just see my family reacting and they were staying close to the Lord.
And even though it was hard and they had to do more work or less work or they were, Mentally drained. They stayed true to the Lord and they were solely relying on Him to get through. Um, and I, that was just such a big eye opener because I, It meant, The Lord just got so much bigger in my mind at that point.
Because He was sustaining my family through this hard time. with his support, it seems like everything was going to be okay, even though the world was falling apart.
Syd Berenyi: Were you reading the Bible more at this point?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so, at this point, it had gone from, in high school, I would read it once every three to four months.
Um, yeah, just completely neglecting that relationship with the Lord. Um, and then, Once I started to see that reliance on the Lord from my family and, that relationship that they had with him.
I really just started to bring my problems to the Lord. Um, and I feel like the Lord was just calling out to me to come to him with all these burdens that I had and all these sorrows. Um, and it wasn’t a drastic change. I kind of just noticed that I should be spending this time with the Lord. And. I think that this was this point where Beforehand it my journey of faith had really been going down get downhill long time slope um I think that was the point where the lord was calling me back And he’s slowly reeling me in and it kind of started to have a little dip and I started to read my bible more often even though it wasn’t Even though it wasn’t every day.
Um He really just started to show me how good he was through all the hurt.
Syd Berenyi: That’s wonderful. So you graduated high school. What was your next step after that?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, so during high school, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do and COVID didn’t really help me with that because I was sitting around not really doing anything.
So I decided to go to community college because I didn’t want to spend a bajillion dollars going to a state school We’re not really knowing what to do So, yeah, I went to community college I Chose a bunch of random classes to go to because I just wanted to cast a big net Kind of and get at least one fish that I liked and one of those classes was Photoshop One, and I really loved it and I learned that I had a passion for graphic design that I never knew that I had before.
Um, so I wanted to go into graphic design and I wanted to go to state school because I quickly found out that community college just was not for me. Um, I found out it was just a lot of of people that are restarting their career and they already have like either a wife or a spouse or a family um Yeah and It was hard during this time Was seeing all of my high school friends Go to state schools and they had figured out what they wanted to do in high school um And even though they’re only 30 minutes away Um There’s just such a huge disconnect because they were getting in these communities and they’re making new friends, um, and I just really felt left behind during that state.
Um, so I had made the decision to go to a state school after that year of community college. But the only problem was finances because state school is still really expensive. Yeah. Um, so I was weighing the options between Colorado State University or Northern Colorado, wait, University of Northern Colorado.
I was weighing the options between both of those and I was praying, um, for months about the decision. Um, I was like, Lord, I want to go where you want me to go. Um, And I just really did not hear an answer for a long time. It was kind of just silence And that really just kind of brought up some frustrations um Yeah, some of those frustrations were Pointed at god and just questioning Why he’s bringing me back to him, but just to be silent about these big decisions that I was making in my life um, so I was just Frustrated where I was generally And I was bringing those to him.
So yeah, it’s fast forward to decision point for University and My mom had brought up Moody Bible Institute And I was like, no, that’s where people go to become pastors. I don’t want to be a pastor. I don’t want to go into ministry And she’s like no look into their communications program. So I did and it looked good And it was cheap, and it looked like it had a fun community, and it was in Chicago, so I decided to go there.
And my original plan was a selfish one. I wanted to go to Moody and get the cheap degree in communications, and I was gonna go to a master’s program in Florida for themed experience. And then I wanted to work for Disney, or for Universal, or just in the themed entertainment industry down there. Um, just because I had a big passion for theme parks.
Um, so that was my original plan, going into Moody. And, fast forward to the fall of Moody, my first semester. Um, my life really started to change in a drastic way. Um, I really started to read my Bible every single day, um, and, uh, that really started to change me spiritually in ways I’d never seen before. Um, the Lord just really opened himself up to me, um, just through his word and, um, Taking all these Bible classes, I started to know about, know more about him.
And I think just studying him and knowing more about him really just Showed me how much, how little I actually know. And the more that I had started to study him, the, the bigger that he got and the little, the, the The bigger that he got and the smaller that I became. Yeah, it’s just, it was just a such a stark difference between that summer and that December of change that happened in my life.
And I was just able to see the church outside of the context of my hometown church, and I got to see a church out of the context of The church in America, I got to see just people from all around the world and just their genuine love for the Lord And it was just a community that I had never seen before And it really changed my life And just being around all those people in that community, um, I really felt the Lord was calling me into ministry and he really took away that desire to pursue themed entertainment.
Um, and just give me a heart for ministry. And he just showed me the great need that ministry has for media and all the
Syd Berenyi: What was it about the community at Moody that surprised you?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah. So before coming to Moody, I just had this thought in my brain that every single passionate Christian was cheesy and not funny and kind of cringe in my eyes.
Um, just because that’s what the experience was back home with a lot of the other Christians at my school. I just didn’t really want to associate with them. Um, I was just, yeah, very judgmental during that time. So that was the mindset I was going into at Moody, was that everyone here is going to be kind of weird and not funny and not fun to be around.
Um, but that was kind of just the complete opposite of what, that I had found. I had found people just like me that had struggled with everything that I had struggled with. And I saw their genuine faith in the Lord and I saw their heart for the gospel and their heart for Jesus And I think the most eye opening experience was one of the first weeks at Moody We have this thing every week called life group.
I’m sure A lot of people call it life group at their churches, but I’d never heard it called life group before. It’s basically you just get together It’s basically a Bible study you get together you look at a passage and you read out loud and you say what you think about it and We’re going through Romans and there’s this verse That says for I’m not ashamed of the gospel.
Yes, and that really opened my eyes right there Because I’d realized that I’ve been ashamed of the gospel my whole life and I’ve been ashamed to tell my friends I was a Christian and I never really wanted to I just Saw how selfish I was with that Yeah.
Syd Berenyi: Yeah. Can you tell me about the fruit that you experienced after you came back to Christ?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah. So growing up, I know this isn’t directly answering what you’re just asking me. Growing up, I always imagined fruit as conversions to Christianity and I just made those parallel in my mind. So growing up, I just never thought I ever had fruit before. Um, But coming to Moody, and having that just one on one daily time with the Lord, and just bringing everything to Him, all my worries and doubts, and just learning more about Him, I really started to notice my life change, just in areas of desires, um, I really didn’t, desire a lot of the stuff that I did in high school.
Um, I noticed that I had more joy just in so many things, even in hard times during my life, I would just have a natural joy that I didn’t have in high school. Um, and I really think my patience with people skyrocketed. Um, I was never out externally impatient with people back in high school. It was very much an internal anger and frustration with people.
But, um, once the, I had started, once I started to have, just that time with the Lord every day and that relationship with him. I, I just noticed my heart was changing in all those ways.
Yeah, so, when I had started to just be in the word, um, daily with him again, um, he just really started to get bigger in my heart and in, in, um, Just in my heart and in my life in general, And I just started to realize more and more truths about him. Um, I think I realized the power of his forgiveness when I started to come back and Be consistent in the word and in relationship with him Because growing up, I’d see all these people Worshiping in church and they’d be like bawling their eyes out and I’d be like nine years old.
I’ve never done anything wrong Why do I need a savior? But being in relationship at Moody with him, I looked back at this period of time where I was in high school and rebelling against him and not listening to him and not caring about him at all and Just for him to still love me and for him to care for me great
another thing I had noticed when I started to have that relationship, um, just get bigger and bigger, was just the Sovereignty of the Lord and his plan for my life And that’s not something that was necessarily new It just got so much bigger when I started to see all the changes in my life Because even looking through high school, I I’d known about the sovereignty of God just through My parents talking about it and whenever something bad happened, my dad would always be, well the Lord’s in control So I’d always know in the back of my head, but High school and middle school, me, um, just really didn’t care.
I had so many of these desires that I wanted to pursue that weren’t in him. Um, but because of his sovereignty, he pulled me back to him.
Syd Berenyi: Yeah. Great.
That’s really awesome. I’m glad to hear that. It’s amazing to see what changes happen when you listen and read the word of the Lord every day.
And you like really be intentional about that time with him. Um, sometimes it can be something you don’t notice at first, but when it happens, It’s incredible. And I’m really glad you got to experience that again. Um, and for our final question, I would like to ask you, what is advice that you would give to somebody who is in a similar position to where you were in your low point?
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, for sure. Um, if I was talking to someone or talking to myself, uh, I would give them two pieces of advice. Um, one, I would say consistently. Just be in the word and in prayer and in presence with the Lord Every day that you can Even on days where you don’t want to or days you don’t feel like it or days you feel like he’s distant Just still get in that word and get in prayer with him and bring everything to him My second piece of advice if you’re in the same place as me with community and you feel like there’s no other Christians around you.
Um, I think you should utilize the biggest tool you have right now, which is the internet or people in your area and you need to find some community whether that be online or in your hometown or at a different church at a youth group just any community you can get where There’s people around your age or in the same lifeboat as you that you can relate to and just confess sins Talk through problems Just have genuine fun with them.
Go go to a trampoline park with them Just so you can get a different worldview and you’re not being molded by Just that secular worldview
Syd Berenyi: That’s really great advice. Uh, well, thank you, Dawson, for coming here today to share your One80 with us. It’s been a pleasure. I’m glad you could come here.
Dawson Trimble: Yeah, thank you for having me.
Syd Berenyi: Of course.
Louise Lamb: Thanks for listening today. Our send off features interns Caleb and Alynna Olson with a song inspired by Dawson’s story.