One80 Podcast

One80 Podcast, Episode 52
Kim Endraske, Passionate Atheist to Passionate Christian

This transcript may have errors that veer from the audio found at

Margaret Ereneta: There’s atheists and there’s evangelistic atheists. Kim Endraske was one of those. She was such a passionate atheist that she worked to actually convert the Christians she knew. But as we’ll find with her story, God loves passionate people, and often turns their passion right back to where it needs to be, on Him.

When Kim actually heard the Gospel for the very first time, she was hooked. She went from an evangelistic atheist to a passionate Christian. Hear her story today on 180.

 Kim, thanks so much for being on this show today.

Kim Endraske: Thank you. I’m excited to be here. 

Margaret Ereneta: Great. Friends, you can find a link to Kim’s book. God is Real in our show notes, along with her other books, her blog, and many other places to find Kim. So don’t forget to check those out. We’re so excited to have you today. We’d like to start the show with what we call a random question.

If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep every morning, what would you choose?

Kim Endraske: Hmm. Can I choose two things? 

Margaret Ereneta: Sure.

Kim Endraske: Okay. So I will take coffee with heavy cream and liquid stevia and, some kind of Christian nonfiction like CS Lewis or some kind of theology book.

Margaret Ereneta: Very deep. Wow. I’m impressed already. We like to start our show at the beginning. So where did you grow up?

Kim Endraske: I’m originally from Des Moines, Iowa, born and raised. And my family was a pretty typical Midwestern family in some ways, but in other ways, I guess not so much. My dad was a lawyer and my mom was his legal assistant. I have one older sister and we just grew up doing the Midwestern thing.

Margaret Ereneta: What was life like at home?

Kim Endraske: my parents were definitely deep intellectuals. I think I have always been kind of a serious, intense kind of person our dinner table discussions were my mom and dad and my sister and I talking about whatever case my parents were working on that week, what I was learning in school, like we definitely all sat down around the dinner table.

Even though my mom was working full-time, she still made it a priority to cook dinner for us and for us to have dinner together. But our dinner table discussions where probably more intense and serious than I think I have with my kids today. 

So a good picture of your parents what you said in your book, they raised you with virtues. They just didn’t raise you with faith, but you were a tight-knit, sweet family.

Margaret Ereneta: Yeah, absolutely. My parents were really very good parents. They really did care about us. And they also though, did have very high expectations for me, I remember actually being in ninth grade and, getting my first B in my first quarter of high school and my parents telling me that I could do better than that.

Kim Endraske: I’d always been in talented and gifted programs. And so there was definitely the expectation that I would, be the best in the class, but they were good people. Really. My parents were really great.

Margaret Ereneta: But from what I understand, There wasn’t a faith component.

Kim Endraske: No, there really wasn’t. I don’t remember my parents ever praying, reading the Bible, going to church my grandparents were Christians. so I had some slight exposure to Christianity through my grandparents, but my parents had walked away from their upbringing.

Margaret Ereneta: They made a conscious decision not to raise you, Do you remember why they decided not to raise you with a faith?

Kim Endraske: Yeah. I remember asking my mom, mom, why don’t we go to church? And she shared a story with me about that when my older sister was a baby, that she was encouraged by whatever church they were at at that time to have that baby baptized and that my mom did not want to indoctrinate her children.

That was the, phrase that she used. she and my dad both didn’t want their kids to be indoctrinated. They wanted us to be able to discover our faith for ourselves. If we wanted to believe in God, we had the freedom to do that. I think my parents really believed that people were by nature good, and that they would, teach us good things and we would be good people. And so they wanted us to just have the freedom to make our own choices. 

If you give your child just freedom, then they will make good choices because it’s society that’s making kids bad, So I think this is my parents’ worldview, and so they gave us lots of freedom, but in essence then that meant they taught me to believe in nothing, I was, being indoctrinated into nothing. 

Margaret Ereneta: Yeah. I remember from your book something you said to your grandma in kindergarten, and I’d love you to share.

Kim Endraske: Yeah. but it kind of shows who I was, even from a young, young age. Like I said, my grandparents were both church going. Christian grandparents and I told my grandmother that I didn’t believe in God and I was five. Such a young age!

Margaret Ereneta: How did that grow into more atheism? 

Kim Endraske: A couple things. I think one, public school system and public broadcasting system, media that really has a very evolutionary worldview. I kind of grabbed hold of, well, if we all just kind of evolved from a big bang, where is God?

Right? I don’t think I was specifically taught. There is no God, but at the same time, isn’t there no God, when there was just like a bang and then we all just evolved out of. Cytoplasm into fish and monkeys and humans. So there’s no God creating the universe. I, um, was really into science, into thinking and showing off and so on.

So that’s one evolution definitely played into me being an atheist also. like I’ve said multiple times, super prideful. So I like to kind of stand out. And so there is an element of, wow, these people are all like this, they’re all Christians and they’re all doing this thing. So I think I’m gonna do this thing.

And so when I would ask them questions, the Christians that I knew who were likewise middle school, high school, kids, they really didn’t know how to answer me, So when I would say some obnoxious comment like, well, how can you believe the Bible is real? They would just kind of look at me like, well, because the Bible’s they couldn’t really defend their faith.

And then at some level there’s also, not believing in God, because I don’t believe in Christians. but like, when someone is a professing Christian, and I look at their life and I am a more moral person than they are.

To me, not really understanding Christianity. To me Christianity was, you’re a really good person, And you do these things and that makes you a Christian, 

Margaret Ereneta: that’s often the thought. Right?

Kim Endraske: And so, when these people are not actually doing the things that I think that they’re supposed to do, then I thought, well, God must not be real because they’re bad and I’m better than them.

Margaret Ereneta: And you said that you saw them as hypocrites and liars. 

Kim Endraske: Hypocrites. and liars in the same way of, they say, this is what you should do, but then they’re not actually doing it. especially by the time I was on high school and college and, I chose not to drink for one, one example. And so I would be the designated driver and drive people who are professing Christians, while they’re drinking and I’m not drinking.

Kim Endraske: But it just fueled all the more, wow, I’m a really good person, why would I need God? and these people are all hypocrites and liars. 

Margaret Ereneta: Yeah. so you talk about this disdain that was building for Christians, Did it get worse than this point?

Kim Endraske: Yeah. So the hardest really was college. When I was in high school, there were a couple Christians actually in my life who were appealing to me. for example, I had one boy in, in high school who said he couldn’t date me because I wasn’t going to heaven. Now, he didn’t really explain how to go to heaven or what that all meant, but,  that was the idea that he would say, I’m sorry, I can’t date you.

I valued morals and honesty and integrity. I valued these things. And so the fact that, that boy would say that to me, I felt like, wow, this guy’s kind of the real deal. And then there was, there was a girl that I knew in high school and she led a really. Moral life, and I admired her. But by the time I got to college, the people I knew who were professing Christians were, very immoral. 

And then looking down on me, for the immoral lifestyle that I was living, I remember I had one roommate who said that she couldn’t be my roommate anymore because I was, causing her to stumble, which I was, but she was leading a very immoral lifestyle so for her to say, that she couldn’t be my roommate anymore because I was, so bad.

But she would go do the bad things on Friday and Saturday, and then go to church on Sunday. That was hard on an atheist to watch a Christian live like that.

Margaret Ereneta: Yeah, I bet. So, at one point you do say you become an evangelical atheist. How did that happen? And explain to us what you mean by that term.

Kim Endraske: so a piece of my story that I haven’t really shared is that I got involved in our speech and debate team. That was my sport of choice. I just enjoyed having a good debate and so I took some of those skills and applied them to conversations with people who, professing Christians, I would kind of steer the conversation to talk about these talking points that I had. Now I do think that today, there is so much media out there, so many YouTube videos, you can watch so much social media stuff. But at that time, so much of what I was debating, I was ignorant.

I really had no idea what I was talking about. I was just like, had these talking points. So for example, I would throw out some kind of, well, do you really believe that God created the world? how is that really possible and don’t you know that there are these, fossil evidence and whatever.

Margaret, I really had no idea what I was talking about. And if someone who was really. Wise and had studied, they probably could have sat down and really talked to me. but no one really was there to walk me through and explain to me, no, actually, like there is scientific reasons to believe in creation they really couldn’t explain 

Why they believed what they believed. It was just, this is how it is. 

Margaret Ereneta: It’s interesting, we, get so intimidated around atheists, ardent, atheist, passionate atheist, but we forget that we hold the truth and they don’t have it. I love that you’re saying if someone would’ve just told me this or had an argument for me, or just had the courage to speak up, it really would’ve helped and they didn’t.

Kim Endraske:  There’s a lot of resources. Even if someone had said, “Hey, here’s this book More Than a Carpenter, would you like to read it with me?” I was interested in spiritual things and so if someone had sat down with me and would you be willing to do this? Now, I might have argued a lot through the whole thing, but I would’ve read it.

Margaret Ereneta: That’s really important to hear. And friends, there’s a lot of resources out there. But you can also look at our past shows, like John Noys with Stand to Reason, and he talks a lot about those resources too.

Um, So, how is this evangelical atheism playing out? What is your view of God at this time? and how is that working out in your life?

Kim Endraske: So I did not believe in any kind of God higher power, I was just a humanist. I believed in only the things that I could see, taste, touch. So, there were two times when I would really struggle with this worldview, seeing the beauty of creation was actually really a struggle for me because I, I could not really grapple with how this could have just randomly evolved. there would be certain moments like, up in the mountains in Colorado and you’re, oh wow, this is really amazing.

I remember one specific time when I was at debate camp, in the state of Vermont and I was, on a college campus and there’s this big grassy field and I’m sitting there and I’m going, Wow, this is really beautiful. And I’m by myself and have a moment to be quiet. And I remember sitting there going, God, if you’re real, will you please show yourself to me 

 And in that moment, I’m waiting for like something to happen, And nothing happened. 

And I left there just being like, see, God’s not real. And I’m sure that fed into this, struggle When you said, why’d you become more evangelical? Why did you become more outspoken? Well, I prayed and it didn’t happen, but I think that God in the beauty of creation, he was like, Kim, don’t you see me?

 even the idea that my soul was crying out, God, if you’re real, will you show yourself to me? that idea was God calling me to himself and then the other thing that I really struggled with is death.

I lived in fear of death. I would like to think some of my, high level of morals was related to wanting my life to mean something, because my life would matter if I couldn’t make a difference in other people.

I was always serving other people, trying to be helpful, trying to be good and moral, make my parents proud, make a name for myself and all of that. the idea that life just had no meaning and that then you would just die and there was just nothing that was really hard for me.

Margaret Ereneta: yeah, I 

So, it was already hard just trying to reconcile the world with your worldview, but things did get harder in college. Can you talk to us about that?

Kim Endraske: Okay, so, starting my freshman year, I met this really cool football jock and, I just thought, oh man, how can this brainiac, That’s who I was. I was a straight A student, here I am dating this football jock, so I just think, man, I havereally have it all together. I am the straight A student, valedictorian, president of every club. And I have a football jock for a boyfriend, and so we dated through senior year, got engaged actually our summer before, entering senior year.

And I’m like, wow, my life is really just, you know, like who could have written such a great story? But the problem was that secretly he was an abusive guy.

Physically, verbally. It was, it was not good. from the outside. People think Kim is living the dream life, you know, it was all external trying to make, this dream life and It’s my last semester of my senior year and I’m gonna student teach.

And so I was like, I’m gonna break up with this guy and I’m gonna, go to St. Louis because I couldn’t imagine breaking up with him and staying on campus. So I broke up with him. I moved two hours away to student teach and it was really rock bottom for me.

Margaret Ereneta: Can I ask you? So you’re the brainiac, you’re a leader. Really smart. You know, right from wrong. Can you explain how you were in a relationship with an abusive man?

Kim Endraske: Isn’t it just crazy? On the outside you can be so full of yourself, so confident, but deep inside I thought, if I break up with this guy, that’s it. I’ll never meet another person. Another piece of my story, is that, like I said, I had very high morals for myself, and it was a very physically intimate relationship.

And I didn’t wanna have that with anyone else morally. I had set a standard that for myself, that I would have a monogamous relationship with this man, and I would marry him.

I made these rules for myself and I couldn’t keep them, And so I really wrestled with, okay, can’t go through with it, even though I’ve done that. and I’m so thankful. I think of how different my life would be today if I had married him. 

Margaret Ereneta: Wow.

Kim Endraske: It was hard. People wanna be loved, And at some level, even when the person is abusive to you, and then they come back to you and they’re so sorry and they’ll never do it again. And they love you so much and then you forgive them and then it happens again. 

Margaret Ereneta: Yeah. 

Kim Endraske: It’s crazy. It really is. 

Margaret Ereneta: Thank the Lord that you did see a way out and you took that, so you’re in St. Louis

Kim Endraske: I’m in St. Louis and, I just feel rock bottom I’m living in a dorm at the school where I’m at and I know nobody, and I’m just there by myself and I’m thinking, man, I’m gonna graduate. And then what? I’ve been there for, I don’t know, a couple weeks. And I am in the middle of teaching a class and I got a phone call from a friend and she is actually a Christian friend from college.

And she said, “Hey, um, I can’t believe I tracked you down. I called our college to find you and I’m getting married this weekend.” And she says, “You have to come to my wedding.” And I’m like, “Okay.”  Here’s where it’s super crazy. She’s from St. Louis, She’s getting married like 20 or 30 minutes from where I’m student teaching.

Margaret Ereneta: Wow

Kim Endraske: It was the Lord,

Margaret Ereneta: That’s amazing.

Kim Endraske: These are, this is just coincidence, right? Just coincidence. 

So, I had gotten her invitation, but I didn’t wanna go. because here I am, I’m in the middle of just having broken up with this guy and So, I went to her wedding and while I was at the wedding, I, um, didn’t have anywhere to sit, Because they have like assigned seats and I don’t know my way around. And so, I see this guy. And he says, well, hey, you don’t have somewhere to sit. Why don’t you sit with us? And actually, somebody at his table had not showed up. And so I take a seat at this table and as it turns out, he’s a Christian. And all the people at this table, they’re all young adult Christians.

And that evening they, they’re going out to a movie that so they invite me along and as it turns out, he had just gotten his first job two weeks before and he is working walking distance from the school where I’m teaching.

And so we start, meeting him for lunch, talking to him on the phone, and, Largely, I am trying to convert him to being an atheist because there is no way that I’m getting involved with a Christian. So we would just argue and debate, about Christianity and what is amazing. I hope this is encouragement to someone, y’all, he didn’t have any idea what to say. He was totally not equipped for dealing with me. He didn’t know anything more than I knew. But he, he kept talking to me.

he just, would put up with it and he would do his best and he would be sweet and kind and not yell at me, it was weeks of just talking to me. And, finally at some point, he says something about being saved. 

Margaret Ereneta: Thanks for listening to 180. We really appreciate your likes and shares. Please consider leaving us a review on your favorite pod player. Now back to the show. 

Kim Endraske: And these are, words that Christians use, that non-Christians have no idea what that word even means. And I’m like, what do you mean being saved? Like, to me, being saved is like, you save money, you save like starving children or puppies or something. And I’m like, “What do I need to be saved from?”

Margaret Ereneta: Hmm. 

Kim Endraske: Like it was the first time I’m 21 years old, it’s the first time I ever heard someone just share the gospel from beginning to end. That I’m a sinner, that my sin deserves judgment. And Margaret, I’m telling you, I knew I was a sinner. I had made all of these rules for myself. I had tried to be such a moral person, but I couldn’t do it.

Margaret Ereneta: I could not keep even the rules I made for myself. Wow. 

Kim Endraske: I knew, okay, I’m a sinner and that my sin deserved death. Okay. That makes sense. Okay.

But that Jesus was God and that he died on the cross to pay the punishment from my sins, the and that if I would trust in Jesus and believe in Jesus, that he would take my sins and pay for them, and I could be forgiven and be saved from that eternal death. And I thought, this is the best news I have ever heard.

Margaret Ereneta: Wow. Like You were just amazed. 

Kim Endraske: I was, no, seriously, I, I, I wish that there was like a camera of that moment because I was like, what? 

Margaret Ereneta: That’s awesome. So you said that for those few weeks before you had the full on gospel talk with him, he was stumbling through his faith. How was it different than before? He had answers. They were just lame answers, but he had answers and the other people didn’t. How was that different than the conversations that you tried to engage with other people in the past? 

Kim Endraske: Yeah. that, that really is a great question. And I think it is largely because, most other people, when I would try to engage them in these conversations, they would just kind of, um, oh, you know, I don’t really wanna talk about that. And just like, let’s talk about the movie that we’re gonna see.

Like, they weren’t really trying to actually convert me to be a Christian. I was stronger at trying to convert people to be atheist than they were trying to convert me to be a Christian. And at some level, if you really think I’m going to hell apart from the gospel, don’t you want me to be saved? 

Margaret Ereneta: Mmm hmm.

Kim Endraske: If you, knew that I was a hell bent atheist and I’m not hiding this from people, don’t you want me to be saved?

And so to me, if I’m bringing up the conversation, aren’t you then gonna go home and try and research and like, get ready and then come back to me with, Hey, have you thought about this? Right? for Bill, when he’s doing this, he’s then going home, talking to his parents, talking to his pastor. Talking to his friends, right?

Coming back with me you know what I mean? 

Margaret Ereneta: Answers. 

Kim Endraske: Trying to have some answers and at least trying to have ongoing dialogue rather than just being like, Hey, so you know what kind of pizza you want tonight? You know what I mean?

Margaret Ereneta: So it wasn’t like matching you at your, at your outward-seeming level of atheism intellect. It was just returning the volley. 

Kim Endraske: Yeah. My So we eventually got married. Okay. So he was not an intellectual, he was just a nice man who God used to win me, that God used that guy who just was persistent and kind and didn’t give up and kept engaging.  

Margaret Ereneta: Wow.

Kim Endraske: He kept throwing that hook back out there, and waited and eventually. The time was right and I asked him how I can be saved. And I think a lot of people, they hear my testimony and they just do not understand how ignorant a person can be I had, and now, like I listened to Christmas songs, for example, and I’m like, how did I not figure it out from this Christmas song?

Or how did I not figure it out when I went to Easter service or something? But I had never, in the different exposures that I’d had or arguing with different people, I had never had someone, anyone, just personally explain that to me, and I thought, this is the greatest news I’ve ever heard y’all. When you hear that the gospel is the good news, it is, it’s the greatest news. And so that day I’m like, “Yeah, God, I want it. I wanna believe in you. Please help me.” That day.

And, the, the most crazy thing. was before I would try and read the Bible because, I would have people show me stuff in the Bible or in college we studied the book of Job as like a great work of literature, you know, and it always was like, I can’t believe people believe this. This is like total nonsense. I mean, I would read from like Genesis to Noah’s Ark and that was like the extent of my, you know, starting at page one

 And then when I got this Bible, I’m reading it and I’m like, this is amazing.

 like God was allowing me to understand the Bible, which is why I know that something supernatural, something miraculous, really did begin in my heart. On, on that day, but I was so ignorant, So, bill tells me, Hey, you should read the book of John. And I’m like, oh good.

Where do I get that right? Because I don’t know that the book of John is actually in the Bible, And so it was just, now. You’re a Christian, you should go to church.

And I would go to church. I had no idea what the people were talking about. I didn’t know any of the songs. I dunno who Daniel is. I don’t

Margaret Ereneta: That must be hard to feel like you’re not actually in the club that you thought you just joined. 

Kim Endraske: But my heart then is really sensitive to that. And when I, hear a pastor say, well, you all know this, right? Like, I’m really sensitive to that because not everyone does know but at the same time, God took who I was and he molded me, but I’m still who I was. 

Like God took the passionate, intellectual, serious, outspoken, friendly person that I was. And he didn’t take that away from but I’m that person.

But better, I’m that person with hope, I’m that person with purpose. I’m that person. that has, has a good calling on her life now. 

 My life has meaning and purpose and joy, and when I tell other people about Jesus, I feel like I’m helping them. I feel like that doctor that has the cure for cancer and I’m telling other people about it and they are getting healed, and I’m like, y’all, I just want everybody to knowthat Jesus, that that I know.

Margaret Ereneta: so you become a believer and you’re in this church. And you’re going to church, but you said things started to change dramatically. What happened with that change?

Kim Endraske: you said something about joining this club. So I’ve now joined like the Christian club, and I’m doing what other Christians do in the Christian club, I go to church and, I, I don’t cuss anymore. In my moral thing, cussing wasn’t wrong.

 So that was something I had to clean up. But I went from being kind of a rule, following atheist to being a rule following christian. I don’t do these things and now I I got a couple more things I don’t do, But really like studying the word for myself, really praying and, seeking God and having a real relationship with God that was not really modeled for me and I was not being discipled. 

My husband was just really happy that I’d become a Christian and we were both warming a seat at church together. And so this was great, but, my life was made for more than warming a seat in a church. And so, I start telling everybody I know about Jesus, my parents, my friends. 

And so I end up, sharing the gospel with my sister my sister was an agnostic, meaning she just didn’t really know. 

She was like, I don’t really know if God is real. I don’t know what I believe. And so I’d given her a Bible and encouraged her to start reading it. And that was in February. And my sister had her second son I actually got married, I had a baby, and this is like two or three years after, I’d become a Christian and. I’m sharing the gospel with my sister. I’m trying to encourage her. I want her to be saved. I have found gold and I want everybody else to come to the gold mine, 

And so this God was, drawing my sister to to himself through his word, through circumstances, through a pastor, through a church, all of these things coming together. So my sister says, you know, I’m ready to put my trust in Jesus. My sister receives Christ and she’s born again. And then about a year after that, I find out that I’m pregnant again.

My babies are perfectly spaced out. my first child is gonna be three, and they’re gonna be three years apart and everything’s going to be perfect And then at my 12 week ultrasound, I go in and, there is a balloon in my son’s belly that is as big as his head.

And I go, something is not right. This is not what this is supposed to look like. And thus begins, my own personal struggle, And why is this happening to me?

 And so we ended up attempting in utero surgery on my unborn child, and he passes away, within 24 hours of that. 

And, uh,

Margaret Ereneta: Sorry. 

Kim Endraske: Thanks. It’s still hard. This was 20 years ago. I mean, It was still painful. Like, God, why? 

But. But I started reading the Bible. I’m just reading job, I’m reading Matthew, you know, I’m like soaking up the Psalms. I’m reading God’s word for me. You know, it’s personal. I know that God sees me and he loves me. And it wasn’t just a club, right? And It was for me. God knew me and he wanted me to know him. And um, from that grew, I’m still an evangelist. I’ve always been an evangelist. Whether. Pridefully trying to convert people to atheism. But now I have purpose and joy and peace, and I want other people to have it.

So I start a ministry to try and help other people who are continuing their pregnancies after they know something is wrong with their baby. Because I want them to have that kind of hope that even if your baby doesn’t make it,um, I want them to know that that child had purpose and that their life has meaning.

And yeah, that was the next big, you know, both times in my life where I really had rock bottom experiences were when my faith grew. 

Margaret Ereneta: That’s so good to hear though.

Kim Endraske: Yes, and none of us want it, but that’s how faith grows when it’s stretched, bigger. and I I I came to know God deeper in those valley kind of times than, than I would have otherwise. And I’m just all the more sure that God is absolutely real because I’ve gone through it and he’s been with me through it.

Margaret Ereneta: Wow, that’s really amazing that you’re using that dark place as the point of evangelism, we will certainly share the links to your ministry, to your blog, to your YouTube channel and all those places where you do that so well, thank you so much thank you so much for what you’ve done and the courage to, be at a place from your own pain to help others grow their faith.

And come to know that God is real, like you said in your book. It’s just really amazing. So I have question for you, and I’m thinking about your parents here. So you, you said you kind of followed your parents’ lack of faith because they wanted their kids to make faith decisions for themselves and they didn’t want to indoctrinate them.

But then you attributed, your atheism to the, the natural result of this void of God in your world. So how would you recommend we keep ourselves from feeling like we’re like indoctrinating our children, while rearing them in the faith? what is the balance?

Kim Endraske: So, yeah. So So we are all teaching our kids how to live. I’m, I teach my kids to say Please and thank you. I teach my kids to brush their teeth in the morning and at night. I teach my kids how to read and spell correctly and know, I, I teach my kids what is true. I think all good parents teach their kids whatis, what is true. So if you think that the Bible is true, and you think that God is really real and that he is the way, the truth and the life, and that no one comes to the Father, except through him,I guess, why would you not tell your kids that? Why,believe that God is the onlyway, if Jesus is the only way to the Father, and that everyone is going to go to hell apart from him, why would you not want your kids to grow up knowing that and believing in that?Actually. I wrote a Christmas book and this kind of came out of having a conversation with someone because she said, I wanna keep Jesus in Christmas. How do I keep Christ and and I was like, well, the way to keep Christ in Christmas is to keep Christ in your home, the other 350 days of the year. You can’t just put Christ in Christmas, like Christ is my life. I live and move and have my being in Christ. My kids see me like every day of the year. I’m I’m just modeling for my children how a Christian lives.

And I hope I’m appealing to them and that my kids wanna be like me. That my sons would say, I wanna be like my dad. I want that from my kids. 

Margaret Ereneta: 

So Kim, I have a last question for you. So, you must talk to women who are just going through a lot of darkness, but maybe women that you haven’t met that see God as evil because of what is happening to them or has happened to them.

What would you say to them?

Kim Endraske: It’s really interesting because right now I’m in the book of Job. And I’m thinking about how Job’s friends first just sat with him for seven days and they didn’t say anything. And then when they open their mouth, um, the first friend is like, critical of job, And you think, so, so the first thing I’d say is just just, I’d just sit there and hug ’em and love on ’em and say, I feel your pain, because this world is really hard and there’s a lot of pain. So first, the first place is to just sit with them and just feel pain with them. 

Um, but also to encourage them that, That there is light after this, and sometimes when you’re in the midst of that pain, you can’t see that it will ever get better and it feels like you will just always be in this valley, but actually that, um, there is light and that the light is Jesus. to to see the pain, but then to see that there is purpose in the pain, that this pain isn’t just worthless. It’s not just meaningless.

You’re not just an accident. there, that there is purpose even in these great trials thatI I hope other people can hear. The story I have gone through orwouldn’t be the woman I am today if I hadn’t gone through that pain. If just gotten saved and then warmed a pew for the rest of my life. That’s not, that’s actually not what I want. 

You know, I can actually say I would do it again because my life is better now. Like, like my faith is more and better. You know, I have more purpose and joy and hope and peace.

Margaret Ereneta: That’s so awesome. That’s really great to hear and I just really wanna thank you for sharing your story. And folks, please don’t forget to check out our show notes. Thank you so much Kim!

Kim Endraske: Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Margaret Ereneta: Today’s send off comes to you from PrayerCast. To see a lot of prayer video resources, go to PrayerCast. com.

My name is Philip van Dreslt. I used to be an atheist, but now I’m a Christian, and I want to pray for atheists. Heavenly Father, Lord Jesus, God of creation, King of the universe, we come before your throne of grace, burdened by the knowledge that millions of our fellow citizens, children of yours, created in your own image, Walk in darkness, disbelieving in your existence, questioning your goodness, and cut off from your light, your love, and your truth.

Lost without you, they wander through life, unaware of their spiritual nakedness. Worshipping the false gods of atheism and evolution, seeking meaning and truth where it is not to be found. or else sacrificing their eternal future on the altars of pride, materialism, and worldly ambition. We therefore cry out to you, Trieung God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, Creator, Savior, and Friend, to open the eyes of those blinded by atheism, Theism and the spirit of unbelief.

Help them to see your hand in creation in the intricate beauty design and order of the natural world. Clearly visible, though damaged by sin. Help them to recognize your character and holiness in the voice of their conscience and the best impulses of their hearts. Above all, we pray Holy Spirit. But you will use every possible means to reveal to these wandering and lost souls the divine character, the love, the saving ministry, and the living reality of Jesus.